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'dunya varmis' diye bir soz var turkce'de, ne kadar guzel gormusler zamaninda bu noktayi, dunyanin varligi cidden unutuluyor bazen. kutu kutu yapayalanyalniz kentlerde.

Breaking Waves

i do not know if i really feel sad, or i am just pretending to be or trying to be. But i would appreciate the kind (my kind) of species calling themselves humans if they can show some unity in that, at least. For donating to Unicef for aiding the diseaster struck nations, here is the link:

http://www.unicef.org/index3.html

SelfXpre-0n

Like G. Gould murmuring...

Gotham

Yaraticiligin yalnizken ve/veya zor sartlar altinda arttigi soylenir, ancak bu sanirim disarida akip giden bir yasam oldugunu bildigin zamanlar icin gecerli. Kapidan disari adim attiginda hic bir seyin degismeyecegini dusunuyorsan (biliyorsan), yani ic basinc ile dis basinc birbirine bu kadar yakinsa, bir patlama olmasi (yercekimini asmak icin gereken enerjinin ortaya cikmasi) imkansiz.

Emotions dont last long enough, they are swept away (by anna m. szlik, is like the hotel's cleaning lady - never seen her face, seen her from the back, many times at the far end of the corridor, bendeki imgesi bu), insan her seyi unutuyor~, bir tek duygular (gecmis) duygulari cagirabilir, in the desert, u r all ears, all eyes, smells and touches (are blessings which) come by themselves, searching for some-thing from out of this desert.

...

Bu blogu ingilizce yazmaya karar verirken, yazarak ingilizcem gelisir belki biraz olsun diye dusunmustum, ama pek bir faydasi yok sanirim, ancak ingilizce olunca, turkce bilmeyenlerde okuyabiliyor ve bunu da sonradan farkettim, bu yuzden tamamen turkceye donmiycem, (arada ingilizce sacmalamaya devam edicem, belki 'translation'i denerim yine) birilerinin 'comment'lerini bulmak hos oluyor yazdiklarinin altinda. bir iyi yani da kendi dilimde yazmayi ozlemis olmam oldu bu ingilizce yazma cabasinin. Ama sonucta olmuyor, cocuk konusmasiyla felsefe dersi gibi garip ve yetersiz oluyor. En azindan simdilik ingilizce yazmak tatmin etmedi. bu arada ozellikle yazida, devrik cumle kullanma hastaligim burada daha cok ilerledi, eskiden beri cok devrik cumle kullanirdim, ilkokul ya da ortaokulda kompozisyon dersinde hocalardan birinin neden boyle yaptigimi sordugunu hatirliyorum. Nedenini bilmiyorum ama burada ilerlemis olmasinin nedeni ingilizce konusmanin etkisi saniyorum.

SelfXpress 9

Since the light that lightens our way is up there in the future, the worries are inevitable as they can be thought as shadows from future, sometimes leaving you in pitch darkness, there you need to walk blind or if you are lucky, some thing shiny in your past, a sweet memory will lighten your way.

Today i have sunk into a painy numbness because of that headache settled on the back of my head and neck.

I dont know through what reasons but i am recalling the raven POEm at this very moment.

... and the raven quote 'nevermore'.

SelfXpress 8

There are, i suppose, many ways to see the world. One can look through various types of filters into life and each of them offers a world in a different color. You can not see one color of life through other, if you are looking with a filter, just like seeing a black and white photo under blue light is pointless, only blue stands for real, but you cant help seeing all other colors as tones of blue which causes you trapped in one color, makes you feel that's the whole world, no where to escape. You lose the white but pitch black truths also become softer turning into a very dark blue instead of a color-absence.

Maybe patterns of communucation should be reaaranged, even recreated, we revolutionize every bit of our life, but why we cant even think about on some. Why do people still use the same words, patterns to communucate? instead of saying hello, or introducing themselves when first met, for e.g. why they just dont tell directly whats their first impression on each other. I dont think that our communucation patterns have been challenged enough, they are not like the best out of a wide range of ways. They have been kept like that because they were convinient enough. Though i know it is not easy, it is like asking from a painter to paint his own arm which holds the brush.

SelfXpress 7

my finals are finally over today. i still feel the lack of someone to call and say "let's go out and do something (food, cinema, coffee&chat)", the only mikado stick lying alone seems to be me. rest of the people stay connected and somehow dependent on each other that i cant think of any of them as an independent individual, inevitably i have to consider the whole group. it s been ok so far but it really bores sometimes not getting the feedback at all, not being treated as you ve treated. i m aware that i m a stranger yet but, how far i can stand this i dont know. all this is not calibrated, too much unbalance. even with IV who hardly knows me treats me warmer, i feel much more sincerity. i dont know if it is the culture or the personalities, if it is the immaturity of them, or my high expectations.