my name means why*

my energy has been lowered, it started just after i came back from the library. i feel down. sunk to the bottom of a cold stream. but i ve figured it out this morning. why somenone keeps staying down eventhough nothing is different from a previous day passed with joy. it is like a baby fearing of collapsing again and stop trying to stand up and walk, for a while. you feel safe down there, suffering but safe. knowing how it hurts when knocked down, u dont wanna get up.

one more thing i have thought just after that is how my way of approaching to problems, i am an analyzer. (in a magazine test on personality that could be my category: You are an Analyzer) I ve noticed where the question "how" is a positive question meaning its direction is towards future, question "why" is pointing backwards, directed to past. in that sense it is a negative approach.

i need a smooth climb.

*my name means "why" in euskara.